Protagonist Disease: Living your life convinced that YOU are the main character in this world, Convinced that everything that happens HAS to involve you and if it doesn’t? It doesn’t matter. Unaware that EVERYONE else living around you is also a main character in this world with complex characters and complex lives with their own set of accomplishments and mistakes…
In our humble classroom our English teacher asked us a question. A question that really resonated with me, a question that long lingered at the back of my mind craving for an answer. He asked, “If you had to describe yourself in one word, what would it be?” The whole class grew silent, As if time itself froze and locked each student in a trance. My mind browsed through its repertoire of vocab searching for the perfect word to describe myself, as I see myself. As our English teacher passed from student to student asking each one what their word was, it was now my turn. Dumbstruck I was… The words “Adventurous” “Open-Minded” and even “Omnibenevolent” rushed to the tip of my tongue.
I took too long to answer. Mr.Ammar asked the students to what they would describe me in one word, none spoke, but he uttered “Egotistical”. My eyes widened in shock, my mouth shut with a thud. I kept quiet, but my mind wouldn’t shut up. Is he joking? Am I Egotistical? Do people really see me this way? No… That’s impossible. Those questions came and never left. The whole day went on with those questions consuming my thoughts leeching off my mind. Eventually I came to a conclusion, I Re-played every interaction with everyone I ever met in my head thoroughly analyzing how I reacted and what I said, What my intentions were doesn’t matter, What matters is not what action I took but how it looked to other people, not what I said but how others heard it. A form of epiphany struck me, completely oblivious and religiously convinced of who I am as a person. At that point my head fell into my hands and it continuously shook in disappointment. I swore to change this error and try and show my true self, The true personality of which encumbers me of which makes me who I am, The person I am in my mind.
“If you had to describe yourself in one word, And one word only, what would it be?” Are you sure that’s what people see of you…?